Great Urban Race Portland 6/12/10

So close yet so far away...I am going to try and tell this story Memento style....backwards, filling in the blanks as I go. We crossed the finish line in about an hour flat. In the past there was a racer or two but this time, not one of the three hundred teams were there. We were first. The GUR staff actually just got there lunch, and they were confused as to why we were back so soon. We were that efficient, and that far ahead of everyone. This is fool proof...we did everything we were supposed to do and had all the proof. Or did we? As Dannel goes and checks off everything we need to show to claim our victory, they ask for the flier from Paddy's. Well we went to Paddy's, counted all 525 bottles on the wall (actually paid the bartender to tell us how many they had), we missed the part where we were supposed to get a flier from the GUR staffer. Now on a normal afternoon, it is really obvious that there is an attendant and you need to look no further. But on Rose Parade day, AND DURING the US-England World Cup Match in an IRISH PUB, it is literally standing room only. There was no staffer (there probably was), but he or she was completely invisible because of all the soccer crazies (or everyone that likes soccer in the state of Oregon) jam packed into this Irish Pub. Now I was already irritated with soccer, but it literally cost us a win. That is not an excuse, if we further read the clue sheet, it said that there was an attendant there. What is so disappointing is how dominant we were(I now look back and see that we won the race by 4 minutes, but it seemed much longer), and the fact that we literally did everything we were supposed to, minus picking up a piece of paper. Now this is nowhere near the disaster of coming so close to a finals race, and it costing us $10000. This is $300 and qualifying for the finals, which we did. Now, if this was the High Trek Adventure, now known as CitySolve, the attendant at Paddy's would have chased us out of Paddy's and would have reminded us to take the flier, literally handing us the win and costing the actual winning team $12,345 dollars! So needless to say, it's good to work out some of the kinks early so we can win Jason Hofsess 's race without any dispute, and preferably do REALLY well in Las Vegas, which is kind of like my home turf part two. Put a race in downtown LA and I will be clueless. Put a race in Las Vegas, and I can do it blindfolded. What is encouraging, although Dannel won't admit it, is that this was our most efficient race yet, and that includes the first race of New Orleans. That includes having to run through the Rose Parade, about ten times. Thank you GUR for letting us have our own slice of pizza instead of having to do something that conflicts with our manhood. We took no public transportation, although most of it was shut down because of the parade. I was not happy about having to handle a live crawfish, although Dannel did an admirable job. This race was actually pretty easy, compared to the last race we did, which was basically two, 2-hour races with about an hour break in between. Jason, since I am sure you are reading this PLEASE give us about 2 hours between races if at all possible. Thank you =) We actually have 3 races in Seattle before we go to New Orleans for Halloween weekend (KICK FREAKIN ASS) and then Vegas in November. I smell 2 wins. Hopefully soccer, my least favorite sport, doesn't interfere this time.

Tops ten songs CONSTANTLY played in Cabo San Lucas

I thought I would dedicate this entry to the top ten (and possibly only ten) songs REPEATEDLY played in Cabo. It's like all the clubs got together, and bought the EXACT same CD or burned a copy for every single place or loaned each other the same ipod. What you get is the same ten songs over, and over, and over again...and everyone STILL gets excited and I have to admit, I was a little bit guilty of that as well =) So here they are, in no particular order...

UPDATE! The song titles are now links...SWEET!!

1. Tonight's going to be a good night (Black Eyed Peas)
*This song by far was played 3-1 more than any other song. If you go to mexico, you will hear this song about 372 times. I won't take credit for saying this, but a friend said "Tonight will be a better night if they stop playing this song!"

2. Party In The USA (Miley Cyrus)
*I heard this song for the first time 2 months ago. A bunch of 12 year old girls at the bowling alley were screaming it at the top of their lungs. I had to ask who it is. Since then I have heard it over 4000 times, and somehow it's popular with the spring break crowd in Cabo. IMMEDIATELY turn in your man card if you were a guy, and you sang this song at El Squid Roe.

3. Hotel Motel Holiday Inn (Pit Bull?)
*No idea what this song means...maybe bringing back a girl to your hotel room? I think Pit Bull can afford something nicer than a Holiday Inn, especially after the royalties from having this song played for the millionth time at the Riu Night Club. Oh wait, I forgot, there are no royalties in Mexico.

4. Empire State of Mind, New York (Jay Z)
*Serious I am googling the artists as I go, because I really had no idea. In Cabo, especially after having a few drinks, people LOVE hearing the city or state of where they are from. Like you could be in a place with 2000 people, and if the DJ yells out OHIO or WISCONSIN, every five minutes people lose their minds. It doesn't matter that it happened like 5 minutes before, and he just named the other 48 states before you. So imagine if the whole song is about your home state...people just start passing out with excitement.

5. Any AC/DC song (The Cabo Wabo Band)
*Every song they do is done with a mexican accent..or words like job sound like YOB. But for some reason, when they do AC DC they sound EXACTLY like the lead singer Brian Johnson. He knows this, so every other song is AC DC.

6. Somebody Call 911 Shawty Fire Burning on the Dance Floor (I have no freaking clue)
*Was it wrong, that every time they played this song, I thought of Mike and Mike in the Morning on ESPN? They always go to commercial with this song, and I was SO TIRED of all spanish sports tv and soccer! This is one reason I am happy to be home.

7. The Spikey Leg (GS BOYZ????)
*Ok, so thanks to google I found out that this is called the Stinky Leg, or the Stanky leg, depending on your grammar, but since I thought it sounded like Spikey Leg I am sticking with it. I actually learned how to do the Spikey Leg and can't wait to practice it in the mirror!

8. Bad Romance (Lady Gaga)
*Ok so this is my, I think I am getting old moment, but who the hell is Lady Gaga

9. Get Low Low Low Low (T Pain)
*Why I don't like this song? For the same reason I hate line dancing songs at country western bars. I am already not the best dancer on the planet, and now all of a sudden you have to dance AS LOW to the ground as possible. It's about 50/50 that I will tip over. I think it's so funny that these artists are obsessed with starting a new dance craze...which leads to the number 10..

10. Walk it out, Soulja Boy Superman, Cha Cha Slide, and any Country Western Line dance for that matter.
*Ok I give up...these songs are when I know it's time to get a beer and go back to my seat!

11. BONUS SONG! Lollipop (Lil Wayne)
*I had to throw this one in because he is one of the weirdest looking dudes on the planet, and doesn't have any skin left to tattoo. And he uses that weird voice distortion thing (sorry, I don't know what it's called) And while we are at it, what is a Shawty?

HEY FEEL FREE TO ADD ANY TO THIS LIST! I am sure I missed one =)

A very interesting poker hand

I decided to play in a tournament at the Portland Poker Club which is a shady place above Biddy McGraw's here in Portland. A $10 "cover" charge for a $20 buy-in is a bit steep, but I was up, it was noon, and I had plans with Rocky to go. Both him and Jonathan got eliminated early, and at least they got a beer out of it at Biddy's, but I did my usual early accumulation of chips only to piss them away FAST as the blinds and levels got higher. I made the final table as the low stack, which became the VERY low stack. I already had one foot out the door, when the blinds were at 500/1000 and I had 4000 in chips. I was under the gun, and I decided that I had three chances to make my move (now, or when the big or small blind hit), and I looked down at KQ of spades. I threw my last 4 chips in, and I got a comment from the guy to my right saying "I was wondering when that was going to happen". I pick my moments where I make my last stand, rather than haphazardly gamble. Anyways, to my surprise, not only did I get 4 callers, but the 5th person went all in (person that made comment earlier). To my GREAT surprise, everyone that was in the hand called, including the CHIP LEADER who re-raised all in and have everyone covered. A quick trivia question, is, What is the best thing that could possibly happen? Well, everyone is now all in and turns over their cards. Pocket 8's...AJ suited, J10 suited, and the worst case scenario for me, Pocket Kings, from the person who made the comment and initially raised all in. The question is, with so many people all in, and 4 places making the money, fold those mediocre to good hands, and let everyone else eliminate each other. I had no choice, and was the first person in. But these guys in the sunglasses and hoodies, that do nothing but talk, are really not all that smart. Well the miracle flop happened...9-10-J. YAHTZEE! I also hit two of my spades, but the guy with pocket Kings was in the lead for the side pot. The chipleader paired his J, but hit a miracle A on the river, giving him two pair (and also giving me a nut flush, which I did not need), and eliminating four players, all of whom had ALOT more chips than me. I multiplied my chips by 5, to 20000, and after we paid the bubble (the odd man out) who was shortly eliminated, the chip leader, who had to leave, offered to chop the remaining money (over $600). We all happily agreed. So I go from one foot out the door, to essentially winning the tournament, in one miraculous hand, and some poor decisions by some of the other players. Honestly, the only hand I call with their is the pocket Kings. Shh, don't use that against me! Oh, and I know the picture is of Hearts, but I could not find a Spades photo. Ship it baby....

Wal-Mart

This is the first segment of blogs that will have nothing to do with the title of this blog. I need to mix it up a little bit, and usually have something to rant about, so this is probably the perfect forum for it. Facebook has kind of taken the place of a lot of my sports thoughts anyways, and well, booze, is booze. I also have a travel blog, so we are really hurting for new material here! Anyways, I was at Wal-Mart this evening, and a lot of people will say Boo, Wal-Mart is evil. But they do employ a shit ton of people, and to be honest, I save on groceries by a landslide, it's open 24 hours, and I can get a lot of stuff done in one stop. Actually probably the key is the 24 hour part. Anyways, I am standing in line and the cashier is a lady that I KNOW gave me her cold when she bagged my groceries a few months back. Thanks for nothing. But I guess the guy in front of me was about 50 cents short on his grocery bill. First off, I don't know how people get into that situation, or why they don't put an item back. So this couple in front of them, and mind you these are all Greshamites, ask me if you don't know what that means, but the couple gives him the extra change this guy needs. So the cashier says something like, "See there are a few good people left in this world". But I notice that it is like pulling teeth to see someone do something nice for each other, without any ulterior motive. I have seen a lot of great acts of generosity, but I feel there are too many people that would take your last dollar rather than spare fifty cents. Con artists, identity theft, homeless people that are begging for change that are not really homeless. If all people would just spare fifty cents, and not ask for anything in return, I think this world would be a better place. Anyways, two more thoughts on Wal-Mart. I wonder who on earth would get their taxes done there. The answer? Rocky Brown. MUCH to his dismay, he learned that Rocky Jr. is not the huge tax write-off/cash cow they thought it would be! And they didn't even keep the receipt. I guess, Rocky and Wren, you are stuck with him! Lastly, I saw an invention that saves half of your banana for later use. Who the hell eats half a banana, or uses just half as an ingredient. You just EAT the rest! That's how you save it!! Please, never get me a half banana saver as a gift. I did learn that dipping bananas into hersheys syrup is delicious, kind of like a redneck fondue! So next time you are at Wal-Mart, at about Midnight (or later), cruising the empty aisles, thinking about getting your taxes done, and a lady that has a cold is bagging your groceries, I want you to think of me. I'll probably be there, an aisle over.

Kobe's shot

I was in the kitchen, with the Lakers setting up for the last shot against the Heat, and Brian asked who I would want with the ball taking the last shot. I said Kobe of course. And I ridiculed some other people that can name me ANY other name that they would prefer taking the last shot. Well I came out two seconds too late and the streamers were already falling from the ceiling. Kobe did it again. And yes I heard him call glass. And he had the same look on his face that he did against the Magic last year. The "We are going to win no matter what look". I love it. I love Kobe. Go Lakers.

USC Trojans and the Rose Bowl

It is weird to see the USC not in the Rose Bowl or any BCS Bowl for that matter. It's offensive seeing also ran's Oregon and Oregon State in some overhyped scrimmage game to play for the Rose Bowl. Two loss teams in a conference who's champ should be undefeated or a one loss team. Now in Oregon, Southern California teams take a tremendous amount of grief for anything less than perfection. But if 8-3 is a down year, and that is considered an unbelievable year for every other program in the Pac-Ten, I'll take it. So if a disappointing season for USC IS the Rose Bowl, and the greatest game in the history of Oregon, allegedly, is to go to the Rose Bowl, that is pretty sad. I am embarassed for our conference and for the shellacking Oregon will withstand against Ohio State, who USC has beaten two years in a row. What is once in a century for other teams, is a down year for the best team in college football. Its good to be a Trojans fan!

High Trek Adventure 11/14/09 Las Vegas

Now that we got New Orleans out of the way, I felt more prepared for Vegas, and this is basically my home turf. Advantage, US. We got up at 8am, which is way too early for Vegas, and cabbed it over to Planet Hollywood. We found everyone at a Hawaiian themed Cheeseburger restaurant (sound familiar) at the Miracle Mile shops at Planet Hollywood. Before we even got our clues, we had to build a house of cards. I am good at shuffling cards, dealing cards, and playing cards...but a house of cards? We had it collapse once before we completed the task and got our clues. Our first mission was to beeline for UNLV where we had 3 challenges, and we were able to catch two more on the way back. At this point we are cruising and I felt we were ahead of the pack. There was an anagram that Hans and Kat couldn't solve, so we had a choice to get on the Deuce towards Circus Circus and hope the answer was in that direction, or head to NY NY where we had a confirmed clue, which was much closer. I made the decision to go to NY NY, and of course, the other clue was by Circus Circus. Now we took a calculated risk and took a half hour penalty thinking we would be WAY ahead of the pack, but not so much. Even with our skip, AND penalty we finished in sixth. Meaning we had to hope four teams did not cross in the next half hour. Not very likely. Dannel was actually upset, and he didn't say it, but he felt that going to NY NY was incorrect. I still think if we go the other way we still don't make it. Well, after watching the clock, miraculously, even with the penalty, we finished in tenth, meaning we were in the second race. Now in the Great Urban Race, we had at least two hours in between which was really nice to change, shower, and wind down a little before the next race. This time not so much. We had a 45 minute clock which meant we had to hang out at Miracle Mile, and before we were allowed to go, we had to win three hands of blackjack. This is my kind of race! Gambling, playing cards, Vegas..again home field away from home. We got our clues and headed BACK to UNLV. I felt that was a little redundant having to do that twice. All teams were provided with an escort (not a prostitute, a runner from a local track team) to ensure that nobody cheated, or got in a cab or anything. I mean, after all, this race was for $12000. I was struggling to keep up with Dannel and Jamie, who was our escort, and an incredible runner. We still managed to finish everything we needed to do on the strip, and make it to our first major checkpoint which was at Margaritaville. Now here is where things get interesting. And I know Jason, the organizer of the High Trek Adventure, will read this because he scours blogspot and other website for what people have to say about his race. Mind you I am sharing this with family, friends, and have NO REASON than to describe the next series of events other than EXACTLY HOW THEY HAPPENED. We got to Margaritaville at the exact same time as this team called Zach Attack. Now the rules were implicitly clear. Get the clues from the lady, who is employed by High Trek at the bar. Take a picture with her. The clue specifically said, It is up to you to remember to take a picture with her. Not doing so will result in a half hour penalty. Now the Zach Attack, get their clues, and takes off. We take our picture with the lady. The lady, who is employed by High Trek, gets up, leaves Margaritaville, goes out onto the strip to search for and call out for the team that forgot to take their picture. This is important, but you will find out later. We get our last three clues, head to downtown Vegas, and quite efficiently finish our last three challenges. I started to taste the money, and I said to Hans, get us on a bus off the strip and we are going to win. Well a miscommunication forces us to miss the bus. We get on the deuce with the pack that was 5 minutes ahead of us, meaning we were actually five minutes ahead, because they got a head start, if that makes sense. Now we could really taste it. They decided to get off and take the Monorail but we decided to chance the Deuce. Bad idea. It took an eternity to get back to Planet Hollywood and we actually had to get off at Ceasars and run back. Much to our disappointment we were among the last teams back, but the caveat was there was a GIANT crossword puzzle waiting for each team at the Cheeseburger restaurant. Normally that would not be my forte, but the puzzle was about cities, Las Vegas Casinos, and Ocean's 11 trivia. Now, anyone that knows me knows that this is a home run for me. Still, other teams finished theirs relatively fast, and although we tried to be as thorough as possible, we still left a couple of the answers blank. I had been up since 8, it was now 6, and I was ready to leave. Dannel was going to stick around for the award ceremony. I did not need to wait around to find out that we were in 6th or 8th or whatever. Well I am standing in line at the Subway at the Orleans Hotel, and my phone rings and its Dannel. Normally he would just text me, but he called to tell me that we finished in second place. We crushed the crossword puzzle, and with each wrong answer costing each team five minutes, it vaulted us up to second. Which is all fine and dandy, but the team that finished in first was Zach Attack. The Zach Attack of forgetting to take their picture at Margaritaville fame. The same team that should have been penalized had the employee of High Trek not chased them down. Now I know for a fact she went into CYA mode (cover your ass) because you would hate to have an otherwise good race tainted by a questionable result. It is my understanding that she at first said she never went after them, and then it changed to, she did go after them but didn't find them. So here is the question. If they forgot, and left, what prompted them to go back. Did they realize this as they were halfway down the strip heading towards downtown Vegas? Clearly not. What I theorize is that the lady caught up with them as they were about to get on the Deuce. Or maybe it was just outside Margaritaville. Thats why they were running alongside our bus, instead of being in it. If the rules are followed, to the letter, they are penalized a half hour, and we are drinking Grey Goose at Tao that night. Let me tell you, its not easy winning these things, and opportunities are very few, and very far between. And I know this was the cleanest way for Jason to end this thing, but I know there is a TON of ambiguity on what happened, and it would have all been fine with a little honesty. Not on Jasons part, who tried very hard to put together a good race. But from his employee. So they get 12 G's and we get a plastic medal. I can't even drink out of a plastic medal. Alot of this also could have been avoided if the prizes are staggered, as opposed to a winner take all format. It would have sucked, but a few G's thrown our way would have definitely eased the blow of how the whole thing went down. Oh well, I was still in Vegas, and had a great night with Darren, Tain, and Adam that night. Sorry if this was more of a venting than a summary of the events!